She said her name was "party"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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