porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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