Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
