just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Congratulations! We have a period
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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