Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
