fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
