Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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