I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
