I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize