Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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