So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
