To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
