im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
