So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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