is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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