I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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