I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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