You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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