So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
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I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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