evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
