my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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