he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
