it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
