My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
