is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
