So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
