I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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