Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
