And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
