You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize