Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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