You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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