Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
