Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this boner is exhausting
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize