I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
