On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
