His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was so not down for the gang bang
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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