i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
