Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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