yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
