And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
