Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
