Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
