ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
