So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
