sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
