At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
