When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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