hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think my fart just growled at me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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