that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
