maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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