So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
