Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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