If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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