every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
