I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
