I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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