How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
