I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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