I feel like I'm in dance class right now
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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