Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
