i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
