I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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