You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
