Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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