How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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