I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
