You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize