I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
